


Say You Won't Let Go

by CaptainSwanLuver



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Drama, F/M, Family, Reunions, Romance, Speculation, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-10-14 00:14:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10524894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainSwanLuver/pseuds/CaptainSwanLuver
Summary: Emma struggles to accept Killian abandoned her, as Snow lends her advice and support.  Meanwhile, Killian fights to get back to Emma.   (My version of 6x15.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> So this is how I would write things if I wrote the show. I fully expect Emma to feel abandoned because of her past issues, but I did not like that second sneak peek. While drunk Snow might be amusing, that’s not who Emma needs right now and I don’t believe Emma would just try to move on so quickly, no matter how much she was hurting. So this is pulling bits and pieces of what we know from the promo and sneak peeks. Also, I have no clue how Jasmine, Aladdin, and Agrabah fit into this story, so I am not even going to address it. I just wanted to make it so Killian could get home, they could reunite, and work through things. Hope you enjoy it! ~Steph

...Say You Won't Let Go: Part 1/1...

Emma sat in the dark in the living room all night long. She hoped that he was just out getting some air, doing some thinking, putting a bit of space between them. She never imagined that he would leave her. Abandon her like everyone she ever loved who had come before him. Not him. He was the one person who would never do that. 

Every time she heard even the slightest of sounds, she jumped up from the couch and ran to the door, throwing it open. And, every time, her heart sank into her stomach at the sight of an empty porch and snow falling before her. 

The house seemed so empty without him. When she had bought this house as the Dark One, the house Killian had chosen for them, she had imagined it filled with her family and with him. She had even imagined their future children running around it. She had never imagined being alone in it. 

Emma didn't go upstairs until the sun had risen into the sky. She moved to Killian's chest that sat on the floor in their bedroom. She opened the top, her heart sinking once more. A bag and some of his belongings were missing. 

Her worst fear had come true. He had abandoned her. He had left without saying a word. 

Emma reached around her neck and removed the necklace with the ring hanging on it that he had given her. While he was in the Underworld, she had used it to feel close to him, to feel connected. After all they had been through, how could this be how it ended?

Tears stung her eyes, as she clutched the ring to her heart. 

"Where are you, Killian? Please come back to me."

...

Killian pounded his fist against the porthole. 

"Bloody hell! I need to get off this damn vessel!"

Nemo sighed. "I realize you are frustrated, but abusing my submarine will do you no good." 

Killian's eyes flared at his old friend. "You don't understand. Emma's going to think I abandoned her. If I hadn't changed my mind, then I was going to call her to say goodbye. To explain that I would be leaving until I could be the man she deserves. I knew I couldn't bear to tell her face to face. I would lose my courage to leave. But then I spoke to Snow and I knew that leaving was not the answer."

"I'm sorry things happened the way they did."

"Emma is going to think I am just one more person who abandoned her. I always swore I would never be that man. And she is in danger. Gideon won't stop until he has eliminated Emma. I have to find a way to get back right now!"

"I'm afraid that's not possible. We need Kraken’s blood to be able to cross realms, of which we have none."

Killian sighed heavily and sank down onto a barrel. "Every minute I spend down here is killing me. And I might never see Emma again if Gideon has his way." He paused and met Nemo’s gaze. “We need to get that Kraken’s blood.”

...

Snow threw open the door to the loft, revealing her daughter. She immediately knew something was wrong. Emma's eyes were red rimmed and she looked exhausted. 

"Emma? Are you okay?"

Emma walked right past her into the loft.

"He's gone. Hook's gone."

Snow's eyes grew wide. "What? What are you talking about?"

"He never came home last night and some of his things are gone. I can't find him anywhere."

Snow placed a hand on her arm. "Sweetheart, there must be some kind of explanation. You just got engaged. He would never leave you."

Emma dropped her eyes and Snow looked down at her hand. 

"Where's your engagement ring?"

"We put that on pause," she replied softly.

"I don't understand. Why? You were so happy the other day."

"There's something I need to tell you and dad, but not right now. Let's just say that things are strained between us at the moment."

"Okay, so maybe he just needed a little space and time to think then. Now that I think about it, when I saw him down at the docks last night, he did seem a bit troubled."

"Wait. You saw Killian at the docks last night?"

"Yes. I told him about Regina and how happy I was that you two were getting married. He-...

Snow stopped abruptly.

"What?"

"Well, he did have a bag with him. He said he was just getting some things from the Jolly Roger."

Emma felt a knot grow in her stomach. 

"I need to go down to the docks."

"I'll go with you," Snow said. 

...

Killian looked down at Emma's engagement ring in his palm. 

"Please, love, be safe. I know you can feel me, Emma. We've always had such a deep connection. Please hear me now. I would never abandon you. I will do everything in my power to get back to you. Please don't give up on us, Swan. Please don't give up on me. I love you, Emma. Don't ever forget that."

He squeezed the ring in his hand. 

...

Emma and Snow arrived at the docks.

"He was standing right here," her mother said. 

Emma looked out at the water, a lump growing in her throat. 

"The Nautilus. It's gone. Killian must have left with Nemo."

"Emma, I don't know what happened between you two, but I just don't believe Killian would leave without telling you."

"I told him he wasn’t acting like the man I fell in love with. He kept something from me instead of coming to me so we could work through it together. I told him that when he was ready to do that then we could talk about marriage."

Snow sighed. "Then maybe he believed some time away would help him find that man again. He only took some of his belongings and his ship is still here. He must plan on returning. But, Emma, you know he would have called you, at the very least left a note, if he believed this is what he needed to do right now. Something doesn’t seem right." 

"I never thought he would abandon me," Emma said in a whisper. "Maybe he's not the man I thought he was."

"That is your pain talking, Emma. That is your past issues with abandonment rearing their ugly head. You know how much Hook has changed. He loves you so much. There must be some other explanation." 

“I just don’t know what to think right now, Mom.”

Snow put her arm around her daughter’s shoulder. "Come on, you need a break. Let's go somewhere to get your mind off everything."

Emma shook her head. "I don't think I'd be very good company right now. I'm just going to go home."

"Honey, I don't think it's a good idea for you to go home and wallow alone.”

“I am not going to wallow. I don't wallow,” she replied sharply.

"Emma-..."

But Emma turned on her heel and walked away without another word.

...

Liam sat down beside his brother. 

"I realize you're frustrated and worried about Emma, but do you really believe attempting to retrieve Kraken's blood is wise?"

Killian met his brother's eyes. "I don't have a choice. It's the only way to get back to Emma. I don't know if she'll ever be able to forgive me and trust me again, but even if she doesn't, I need to know she's safe. I need to be there to help her defeat Gideon."

"You truly love this woman, don't you?"

Killian nodded slowly. "More than I ever thought possible." He paused, swallowing hard and dropping his gaze. "But I am well aware I don't deserve her. I am well aware I am not deserving of a happy ending with her."

Liam licked at his lips slowly. "Why do you say that?"

Killian's eyes widened as he met his brother's gaze. "You should understand more than anyone, Liam. I killed our father and left you all alone. You became consumed with seeking revenge. I destroyed lives, families, as a pirate. I cared about no one but myself. I left so many families without their loved ones and I didn't care."

"But you do now. Killian, you've changed. You're a hero now. You've helped so many people."

"It doesn't change the terrible things I did in my past. My past continues to haunt me, as it should. Why should I get to have a happy ending, get to be with the woman I love, have a family, when I stole that very thing from so many others?"

"Are you truly sorry for the things you've done, brother?"

Killian nodded. "Aye, that I am."

"Then I think it's time you stop punishing yourself and try to forgive yourself instead."

"Easier said than done," Killian replied.

Liam nodded. "That it is. I don't remember much about our father, but I do remember this. He always said anything worth doing shouldn't be easy. It's in the struggle that we grow and learn. I know Father would want you to live a full, happy life, Killian."

"Thank you, Liam," Killian said. “I appreciate that more than you know.”

…

Hours later, having been tricked into coming to the bar, Emma sat across from her mother and Regina, staring forlornly into her drink. 

"How about a game of darts?" Regina suggested, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

Emma glanced at the dartboard, replying softly, "Killian was playing darts when I asked him out on our first date."

Regina rolled her eyes and picked up her glass, muttering into it, "So you're going to be that person."

Emma shrugged. "I'm sorry, but I warned you I wouldn't be good company. I can't pretend like I'm not thinking about him. Two days ago, I was the happiest I had ever been. I had everything I had ever wanted. And now it feels like it's all falling apart. I know what you want me to say. You want me to say I need to move on, but I can't. I don't know how."

"Sweetheart, you just need to give yourself some time to process everything. And, no, I don’t expect you to just move on,” Snow said. 

“I do,” Regina chimed in.

“Regina,” Snow said through gritted teeth. 

Regina shrugged and took another swig of her drink. Snow turned back to Emma. 

“I think assuming this is the end for you and Killian is a mistake. There is always hope. I still believe you two will get your happy ending."

"Maybe there really isn't a happy ending for me." 

Regina sighed in defeat. "Your mother is right, Emma. If the Evil Queen can have a happy ending, then so can you and the pirate."

Emma shook her head. "But every time something good happens to me, it never lasts. It all falls apart. For a long time, I ran away from love because I was afraid of getting hurt again, afraid of losing love again. And then I met Killian. It took a long time, but he made me believe that love could last. He helped me realize that I needed to stop running, that this was my home. He helped me realize that this is where I belong and, in time, I came to believe that I belonged here with him. I just...I never thought he would end up running."

Snow covered her daughter's hand with her own. "Killian loves you, Emma. I know he wants a life, a future, with you. I am as sure of that as I am of anything. But maybe he is scared too. You know what it feels like to be scared to tell the people you love something difficult. You’ve kept your own secrets. Killian feels he failed you. And maybe he just needs some time to prove to you and himself that he is worthy of your love."

Emma took a deep breath. "I guess I wasn’t exactly fair to him. I reacted pretty badly. You’re right, I’ve kept secrets too. And he’s always been understanding and forgiving with me.” She paused for a moment. “But I just don't understand why he thought running was the answer and then left without telling me."

Regina shrugged. "I have to admit that doesn't sound like the pirate."

Emma stood up abruptly, shaking her head, as she blinked back tears. "I'm sorry, I just really need to go. I need to be alone right now."

"Emma," Snow said.

"Thank you both for trying to help," she said, before exiting the bar.

...

The Nautilus arrived in the deep, dark waters where the Kraken dwelled. Killian stood before Nemo, his brother, and the crew. 

“My apologies for forcing you to go near such a dangerous creature. It was not fair of me. As you can see, I am desperate to get back to the woman I love. But it is my risk to take, not yours.”

Nemo shook his head. “My friend, please think this over. The Kraken is far too dangerous to battle alone. It would be a suicide mission.”

“I have to try. I have no other choice.”

“Then let us help,” Liam said.

Killian shook his head. “No, I have destroyed far too many families as it is. I will not do it anymore. I was a selfish man as a pirate. I took what I wanted without a care to the consequences. I am not that man anymore. Emma fell in love with a man who put others before his own selfish needs. That is the man I need to be. I will go alone.”

Nemo stepped forward, placing his hand on Killian’s shoulder. “From what you have told me, Emma fell in love with a man who knows that some things must be done together. That sometimes you must rely on the people in your life who care about you, rather than tackle things on your own. That is the man you must be for her.”

Killian moved his gaze from Nemo to meet his brother’s eyes. “Are you sure?”

“Aye,” Liam replied. 

Killian nodded and turned back to Nemo. “I cannot thank you enough. But please do not give this as an order to your crew. Please allow them to decide for themselves if this is a risk they are willing to take.”

“I will, but I know my crew. They are always on the side of what is right.”

…

Emma returned to the docks, to the spot where Snow had last seen Killian. The sun was beginning to set as she looked out at the water. 

"Why did you leave me? I miss you," she said, her voice breaking. 

Emma leaned forward on the railing and looked down into the water. Her brow furrowed as she noticed something lying on a rock jutting up out of the water. Emma waved her hand and the object flew up onto the dock, landing by her feet.

Her eyes widened at the black bag that was in front of her. She knelt down beside it. 

"It's Killian's," she breathed. 

She unzipped the bag and found the items missing from his chest inside. 

"Why would he leave without his things? Mom said he had the bag with him when she saw him. What could have happened?"

A moment later, Gideon appeared in front of her. 

"I just couldn't bear to watch you cry over your beloved pirate one second more."

Emma stood and shook the bag at him, her eyes flaring. "It was you, wasn’t it? You made Killian disappear. What did you do with him?!"

"Don't worry. He's safe...for now. I just couldn't have him around. On the bright side, at least you know he didn't abandon you. He was planning on leaving for just a spell, but changed his mind. I am sure he would have said goodbye, but I didn't exactly give him a chance."

"Tell me where he is."

“I’m afraid I can’t do that. I can’t have him here for what I have planned for you.”

Emma’s brow furrowed. “What are you planning?”

“And ruin the surprise? I think not.”

He then waved his hand and disappeared.

Emma clutched the bag to her chest. “I should have known you would never abandon me. I will find you, Killian.”

…

Once in their diving suits, Killian and the others loaded onto a smaller sub. They navigated through the murky waters until they could see a huge figure up ahead, tentacles stretching out before them.

Killian pointed. “Up ahead. Right there.”

Nemo slowed the boat and then brought it to a stop. “We must swim the rest of the way. If we are to succeed, it must not see us coming.”

Killian held up the spears. “We must attack from all sides.”

“Attack each tentacle,” Nemo added. “Then it will show its head. Once it does, we attack its head together.”

“Aye,” Killian agreed. 

Nemo opened the door and the men swam out. They spread out, approaching the beast from all sides. Killian was the first to attack. He jabbed his spear into one tentacle. The other men followed suit. The Kraken began thrashing its tentacles violently. It hit Liam and sent him flying to the ocean floor.

“Brother!” Killian yelled, as he looked down at him.

Liam gave him a thumbs up, as he quickly swam back up.

Killian was distracted by his concern for his brother and didn’t see the Kraken raise its tentacle. It hit him across the face. He went flying backwards, but quickly recovered. All of the men attacked the tentacles again, causing the creature to reveal his head. Two huge, glowing eyes appeared before them.

“Now!” Nemo yelled, as he pointed at the head.

The men charged forward, attacking the head with their spears. The Kraken let out a howl as its tentacles moved about wildly. The men were relentless, dodging it tentacles as they continued to jab their spears into its head. Finally, it let out one more long, anguished howl, before the glow of its eyes disappeared and it slowly fell to the ocean floor. 

Killian quickly followed it to the ground, removing the vessel from a pouch hanging around his neck. The Kraken’s blood was slowly seeping from its many wounds. Killian pulled the top off the vessel and held it up to one of the wounds. It quickly filled with the Kraken’s blood. Killian replaced the top and gave a thumbs up to the men. 

Killian and the others swam back to the small submarine and entered it. Killian pulled his helmet off.

“We did it. I can’t thank you all enough.”

Nemo patted his shoulder. “Let’s get you back to your love. Your happiness is all the thanks we need.”

Killian felt a smile pull at his lips. He only hoped he wasn’t too late to help save Emma and salvage their relationship.

…

Emma pounded on the loft door. Snow opened the door a moment later. 

“Emma, what’s wrong?”

Emma came barreling in, as she held up the bag. “He didn’t abandon me. You were right, Mom. He was thinking about leaving to try to find the man I fell in love with, but I know he would have told me before he left. He never got the chance. I found Killian’s bag on the rock in the water and then Gideon showed up. He told me he sent Killian away.”

Snow’s eyes widened. “Where? Why?”

“I don’t know where. He said he didn’t want Killian around for what he has planned for me.”

“That means he must be planning on doing something to you that could be reversed with an act of true love.”

Emma let a small smile pull at her lips. “He didn’t abandon me,” she said softly.

Snow took Emma’s hand in hers. “See, I told you there was hope. You just needed to look for it.”

“But I need to find Killian now, Mom. There’s no telling where Gideon sent him. He could be in danger.”

“I don’t see how we can find him. He could be anywhere and Gideon didn’t give you any clues.”

Emma’s eyes lit up. “A locator spell. This bag belonged to him. Regina can use it to do a locator spell.”

Snow nodded. “Great idea. But you know it will only work if he’s still in this realm.”

“I have to try,” Emma said, as she turned on her heel and exited the loft.

…

“Hurry, please,” Emma said to Regina.

“Patience, Ms. Swan. You do realize that if Hook is in a different realm, then this will not work, right?”

“Yes, I know.”

Regina finished doing the spell. Suddenly, the bag began to float into the air. 

Emma smiled. “That means he’s in this realm.”

It made its way to the front door, as Emma followed. “Thank you,” she called over her shoulder.

“Good luck!” Regina replied.

…

Emma followed the bag as it turned onto their street and then made her way down the sidewalk. The bag stopped in front of their house and then dropped to the ground. Her heart sank into her stomach.

“Something must have gone wrong,” she said softly, picking up the bag. “It brought me back to our house. It must have been going back to one of the last places he was, rather than where he is now.” 

Slowly, she made her way down the walk and up the porch stairs. She went inside, the quiet and emptiness of the house hitting her like a ton of bricks again. Her mind became flooded with questions. What if she couldn’t find him? What if he never came back? What if Gideon’s plan to eliminate her could only be stopped by Killian and he’s nowhere to be found?

Emma shook her head, as tears stung her eyes. Her hopes had been dashed again. She wanted to be optimistic like her mother, but they had been torn apart so many times that it was getting harder and harder to do. She could only hope that things would seem better in the morning. 

Emma dropped Killian’s bag onto the floor by the door and made her way to the stairs. All she wanted was a hot shower, her warm bed, and to forget about everything. But she dreaded that big bed, Killian’s side glaringly empty. She decided to sleep in the guest bedroom tonight. Emma entered their bedroom to shower and gather her things before going to bed. She hadn’t even crossed the threshold when her eyes landed on his figure standing in front of their bed.

“Swan,” he breathed, his heart racing at the sight of her.

Killian didn’t know what kind of reaction to expect from her. After all, they had parted on bad terms and she thought he abandoned her.

“Killian,” she said, her breath catching in her chest.

Emma stood frozen to her spot for a long moment, before finally gaining the power to move. She crossed the room in record time, flying into his arms so hard she nearly knocked him down.

Killian’s eyes widened, as she snaked her arms around his neck and he wrapped his around her waist. It certainly wasn’t the reaction he had been expecting. Emma buried her face in his neck. 

“I missed you so much,” she whispered, as she finally pulled back and met his eyes.

Killian brought his hand up to caress her cheek. “I missed you too, love. I’m so glad you’re okay.” 

“I’m glad you’re okay too. I’m so glad you’re here,” she said. 

Killian licked at his lips nervously. “I am so sorry, Emma. I know you thought I abandoned you, but I would never do that. I knew I wasn’t the man you needed me to be so I was going to go on the Nautilus to try to find him. But I swear to you I never would have left without telling you. After I talked to your mother, I changed my mind about leaving, but then Gideon sent me away.”

Emma took his hand in hers. “I know. I was hurt and it made me believe things that I should have known better than to believe. I know you would never abandon me, Killian. I’m sorry I ever thought you would.”

Killian swallowed roughly. “It’s okay, love. I understand. After what happened between us, I suppose I gave you good reason to doubt me.”

Emma shook her head. “No. Listen to me, Killian. You made a mistake, but I understand why you did it. You were afraid of hurting me and losing me. And you were scared of living with the truth. I know what that’s like. I wish I had been able to see that and hadn’t reacted the way I did.”

“Emma, please don’t blame yourself for my shortcomings. I should have told you the truth when I planned to. I should have come to you so we could deal with it together. I know I wasn’t the man you need me to be.”

Emma nodded. “You are the man I need you to be, Killian. If you weren’t, then you never would have even considered telling me. You didn’t need to go anywhere to find that man. Running is never the answer. Trust me, I should know. We need to figure things out together, no matter how hard or painful it might be.”

“Aye, love. No more running. No more secrets. No more lies.”

Emma bobbed her head. “We will go to my parents and tell them the truth and we will deal with the consequences together.”

Killian sucked in a breath. “Okay.”

She brought her hands up to cup his face. “I know it’s hard, Killian. You and I were alone for most of our loves. We learned to fend for ourselves, to rely on no one. But we’re not alone anymore. We have family and friends who love us. We have each other. I know sometimes it’s easier to revert back to those people who had no one, but easier isn’t always right.”

A smile pulled at Killian’s lips. “My brother reminded me of something my father used to say. He always said anything worth doing shouldn't be easy. It's in the struggle that we grow and learn.”

Emma smiled. “Your father was a wise man.” She paused and then pressed her lips to his in a kiss. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too,” he whispered. “Emma, you must know I fought like hell to get back to you. I knew you were in danger and hurting because you thought I abandoned you. I knew I would stop at nothing to get back to you as soon as possible.”

“I’m so glad you did. Once I realized what Gideon had done, I was trying to find you, but the locator spell led me here. I thought it was a mistake...and then there you were.”

Killian sighed heavily. “Gideon isn’t going to stop until he eliminates you, Emma.”

Emma’s expression grew serious as she met his gaze. “I know. He wanted you out of the way for a reason, Killian. That means you could be in danger, too.”

“I’m not worried about myself.”

“Well, I am,” she replied. 

Killian squeezed her hand in his. “Listen to me, love. We will figure out his plan together and then we will defeat him. If there’s one thing I vow to never again forget, it’s that we are always stronger together.”

Emma nodded and smiled, as she kissed him again.

...THE END…  
Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. I’d appreciate hearing what you thought. ~Steph


End file.
